It's been an odd sort of day. I used oven cleaner to clean my shower curtain - worked fairly well, I give it a B+. I sent the boy to the video shop to get The Woman In Black, a film which can be classified as DRAMA/HORROR/THRILLER. He brought back Kung Fu Panda 2, a CARTOON ACTION COMEDY. Still, I give it a B+ on account of it making me laugh, probably more than The Woman In Black would have. And I ate the insides of marshmallows out a jar! Who knew you could buy a jar of the inside of marshmallows? My top tip if you are ever treated to the insides of marshmallows from a jar is to spread it on chocloate fingers. The insides of marshmallows - in a jar! (It's called, quite unappealingly, Fluff.)

But enough chat - the point of this blog is to let you know that Grimm Jr is now ready to get to know you. Call round to see him here: You don't need to feel obliged to take a cake or flowers, just your clicking finger will do.

Since I love each and every one of you, please enjoy this picture of Marshmallow Fluff.

Our sleepy little village came to life recently when the Olympic Torch passed through as part of its nationwide tour. The town was delighted; we got official Olympic bunting put up and everything. The local businesses got into the carnival spirit, decorating their shop windows with welcoming signs for the Torch and runners and basically making the whole area Olympic themed. I’m not too sure what happened with the shop front pictured below though. They certainly had the elements right, but the execution is somewhat imaginative (that’s me being nice). Maybe they thought the logo was trademarked and they’d get into bother if they copied it directly? Bless them.

The Olympic Rings. Local style. Boom. How do you like them rings, eh?
Sometimes things go together better than you might expect. Like Weetabix spread with butter and jam. Yum. Or bananas and biros. I don't mean to eat - biros are too plasticky in the mouth. The reason I am blogging about this is because it has come to my attention, quite shockingly, that not everyone has drawn on a banana with a biro. Even highly educated people of the world. The biro loves the banana, it understands the banana and in return the banana gives the biro the most exquisite experience of its existence. Oh, wait, I mean while the banana is still in its skin! Phew, good job I clarified that before things got a little cah-razy!

If you have never drawn on a banana with a biro, put it on your list of Things To Do Before Bedtime.

Also, apples and acrylics are LUSH!

Much love, as always,

Demonstration of a banana that has known the touch of a biro
I have. It’s not just an internet rumour, it’s actually true. It has a beginning, a middle, and even an ending.

As lots of people have been asking, here are some basic things you should know about my book. It’s done in a Q&A format because I’ve been asked questions and I am answering them here for your edification. If you have anything else you want to ask me, email or comment. I will answer questions about my book, or myself, or, at a push, chemistry. I probably won’t answer medical questions because that’s a different type of doctor.

What’s it called? Magenta Opium.

What does that mean? Opium (heroin of sorts) that at some point is a deep pink colour.

Wait a minute, does that mean there are drugs in the book?  Why, yes.

Who would enjoy this book? Anyone with great taste! See what I did there? I’m implying that if you don’t like it you have rubbish taste, what a controversial person I must be! But seriously, I think penguins would like this book. Line them all up and read it to them, they’ll love you forever.

Would anyone not enjoy this book? People with rubbish taste. Oh, I did it again, boom! And 5-7 year olds.

Should I wait for the movie? You could, but I wrote the screenplay and I CHANGED THE ENDING! It’s also missing one very important character. Now I think about it, I maybe haven’t done a very good job on the screenplay. Read the book. With or without penguins. (Preferably with.)

Much love to you all,